Elderly Parent Refusing Caregiver Help – How to Convince?

What To Do When Your Elderly Parent Refuses Help

Elderly Parent Refuses Help

No one wants to let a stranger enter their house. It could be an unsettling situation when he/she gets into personal space, starts cleaning/arranging things that don’t belong to them, and then starts helping with all daily living activities like bathing and dressing that you much prefer to do on your own.

For seniors who have lived on their own safely and independently for so long, hiring a caregiver in California to assist them with basic household and personal tasks seems like a seriously drastic step. It can be extremely challenging for seniors to accept help, especially in times when they need it most during health deteriorates.

Persuade Elderly Parents To Take Caregiver Help

Family members may be asking themselves how to approach this communication appropriately? How do we start this conversation, to convince a senior loved one that taking on a caregiver at home would be a great idea and beneficial for their health and safety?

We’re going to provide some tips about having “the talk”. We have provided some guidelines for family members who are new to this conversation on how to convince their senior loved one that it is time to take on professional caregiving help at home.

Prepare Your Evidence

This sounds more formal than it should be because you’re not preparing for a legal battle. However, before you overwhelm your loved one with ideas of hiring caregivers, you’ll need to present some solid reasons to justify the extra care around the home. This may take several months or maybe just a few days.

Incidences that would justify the need for caregiver assistance include increased number of falls in the home (with or without injury), mistakes in medication management, recent illness or injury that temporarily or chronically limited their mobility, cognitive changes that impact their safety, lack of household care (clutter, filth, unkempt rooms, etc.), severe vision changes that make it unsafe to navigate the home, etc.

Take note about whether these occurrences are improving or are getting more frequent and worse. Additionally, don’t forget to gather information about limitations for family members to step in and to provide full-time care.

Portray a Gentle, Loving Tone

This is not the time to draw attention to seniors’ faults or shortcomings. Remember, the reason you’re suggesting caregiver assistance is that you love and care about them.

When starting the discussion about caregiver assistance, make sure that you’re portraying a loving, genuine, and gentle tone. Avoid contention and fights. If you feel that your loved one is starting to tense up for an argument, come back to the topic a little later and allow for a cooling period.

Also Read: A Guide For Hospital Discharge Planning

Know That You Won’t Be Following A Generic Script

Unfortunately, there is no script for family members to follow when it comes to having this discussion. Attitudes, behavior, and personalities heavily influence what direction the conversation will go. Use your strengths in how you communicate.

Don’t drastically change how you normally talk to your loved one. You obviously want to display a tone of seriousness, but make sure that your loved one still feels like you’re talking usually. This will help them connect better with you and hopefully prevent any unnecessary contention.

Make Sure It’s About Them, Not You

Avoid making conversation about you and other family members. Even though there might be some obvious inconveniences that impact you and the family. But, don’t bring that up during this conversation.

Seniors making this transition from living independently to having a caregiver in their house is a significant transition that comes with physical, social, and emotional consequences. Leave your personal concerns at the door and talk about the seniors, their personal concerns, their fears, their apprehensions, and so on. Help them work through those concerns so that they might be open to the opportunity.

Share the Pros of Getting Caregiver Assistance in the Home

Be ready to share the positive reasons for having caregiver assistance in the home. Of course, do your research so that you are well-informed about what hired caregivers can and cannot do.

Start by researching local home health agencies to see what home health aide services are provided. Make sure the agency has the availability of all basic daily living tasks (i.e. dressing, bathing, showering, etc.), provide assistance with household tasks (i.e. cleaning, meal preparation for elderly), and help with community access (i.e. doctor’s appointments, grocery errands, etc.).

So, let the senior know that he/she may not require help with all these tasks, but maybe a handful that is unique to their living situation.

If you have more questions about this, you can take consultation from our experts.

Involve Them In The Caregiver Selection Process

Don’t leave your senior loved one in the dark about what caregiver or company is selected. Make sure he/she is involved in the selection process. Remember, this is a person who is coming into their private residence and helping them with very personal tasks.

To minimize anxiety, apprehension, and stress, involve your loved one in every step for hiring a caregiver in Los Angeles. Let them meet caregiver candidates ahead of time, interview them, and get to know them to create rapport and trust.

Set Some Ground Rules and Expectations

As your senior loved one gets older, things are going to change regarding their participation and safety in performing daily living tasks. This means that caregiver assistance demands will change and may become more frequent. Talk to your loved one ahead of time to set up some ground rules and expectations.

Caregiver assistance may start off quite minimally to begin with. However, if the caregiver or the family members start to notice a decline in the senior’s health that merits additional assistance, the family needs to move together quickly to help them immediately.

Consult With Professional Help If Needed

If you have tried to have this conversation several times with your senior loved one, and because of personality clashes, constant disagreements, or severe cognitive decline have failed, seek out professional mediation. Consult with a primary physician to see if a referral can be made to a specialist (i.e. family counselor, psychologist, etc.) who can help guide this conversation so that family members and their loved ones feel safe and at peace about having extra caregiver assistance at home.

Wrapping Up

If the above-mentioned tips fail to reach the final results, taking assistance or consultation of caregivers or other professionals in this will help in convincing the seniors.

And, if you successfully reach the desired results, feel free to contact Justin Villa Care for hiring a responsible and proficient caregiver for completing the further processes. We understand that outside help requires a lot of trust and humility. That’s why we’re committed to not just capable care, but compassionate home care for the elderly.



Doha Isleta, L.V.N. has been the Client Care Manager at Justin Villa Care, LLC for over 10 years. She oversees each client case and makes sure that families are confident in the caregiver that they choose. She looks forward to helping you or your loved one live at home safely and independently.

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Justin Villa Care Implements Safety Measures to Protect Clients From COVID-19

Justin Villa Care is dedicated to implementing proactive measures during this difficult time to support our caregivers, clients and families. Here are some of the measures we are implementing to help your loved ones to stay home and stay safe.

Caregiver and Staff Education

Our caregivers and staff have received communication and training in:

  • Symptoms
  • Safety protocols
  • Travel reporting requirements
  • Proper handwashing techniques
  • Respiratory etiquette
  • Warning signs of illness
  • Infection control protocols, including effective cleaning and disinfecting of surfaces and hands Following CDC and local health authority guidance

Caregiver and Staff Monitoring

We will not place any caregiver with a client for a minimum of 14 days or until cleared by a medical provider if the caregiver has:

  • Been exposed to a facility where COVID- 19 is being treated
  • Traveled to a location on the CDC advisory list in the past two months
  • Started showing symptoms of the illness
  • We will not place any caregiver who has symptoms of illness on assignment or accept new clients who demonstrate symptoms that are highly consistent with the COVID-19 diagnosis or who have traveled to Level 1-3 areas in the most recent 14 days.

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